


the saints can’t help you now

by WhenIWasAYoungBoy



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Depression, Multi, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14843291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIWasAYoungBoy/pseuds/WhenIWasAYoungBoy
Summary: Shiro didn’t knowwhathe was signing up for when he agreed to check out Hunk’s club.Sometimes he really wishes he hadn’t been bribed by those cupcakes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Shiro sells his soul for one (1) cupcake and Hunk's heart-melting smile

 

Shiro jumps as an arm is slung around his shoulder, relaxing as he turns to catch sight of Hunk's warm smile. He catches a hint of cunning in the other boy's eyes that has him raising an eyebrow. Hunk pouts, pulling him over to his backpack, atop a desk at the front of the empty classroom. He unzips it quickly then spins to face Shiro, mischief lining his face.

"So, Shiro, my friend, my buddy, my best pal, my-"

"What do you want?" Hunk gasps dramatically, taking a step back. Shiro just stands there with his arms crossed, staring until the other boys sighs and pulls out a tub of perfectly iced cat cupcakes. 

"My club is looking for new members, and I know for a fact that you haven't joined a club yet." Hunk smiles hopefully. "You don't have to join, but we'd really appreciate it if you checked it out, it's actually super fun!" Shiro raises an eyebrow at him.

"The _literature_ club?" Hunk pouts again, carefully pushing the tub back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulders.

"At least have a look? I wouldn't say anything if I didn't think you'd enjoy it." Hunk looks over at him with pleading eyes, and Shiro sighs in mock-irritation, stepping over to Hunk.

"I'll have a look. But no promises." And just like that, Hunk is smiling again, like the sun parting grey clouds. Shiro can't help the flush that comes to his cheeks at the sight, and quickly exits the classroom to avoid Hunk noticing. The other boy quickly joins him, pulling Shiro along as they head up to the third floor.

 

And thus marks the day Shiro sold his soul for one of Hunk's delicious cupcakes (and his sunny smile).

 

* * *

 

 

Hunk pushes open the door to classroom 3-5 with a reassuring smile, cheerful greeting meeting him the second he steps inside. Shiro ducks in after him and surveys the room, polite smile turning genuine once his eyes land on Keith and another junior who he vaguely recognises. Keith’s lips twitch up into a near smile when he sees him, mumbling a soft greeting across the room. The other boy slides off of the desk and walks over to him, giving him a once over as he does. Shiro can’t help but grin as he tilts his head forwards to look down at the boy, getting a sigh in return. The boy winks at him with a grin, giving Shiro a lazy salute.

“The name’s Lance.” Shiro smiles back.

“Shiro. You’re a junior, right?” Lance nods once, his expression melting into a frown as Keith pushes past him. Shiro grins at the dark haired boy, who flushes red under the attention. Lance rolls his eyes and heads over to where Hunk has placed his bag down, vying for cupcakes. Shiro shakes his head before turning back to Keith, mouth open to speak. Before he can, however, he catches sight of a figure stepping out of the cupboard on the other side of the room. They step into sight and Shiro’s eyes widen as the girl turns to him with a smile. The way her short brown curls brush the nape of her neck is oddly familiar, as are the round, wire-rimmed glasses perched atop her nose. She heads over, raising an eyebrow at the blank look on his face. Faced with the slightly mocking expression, her name hits him like a ton of bricks.

“Katie?” she grins, opening her arms wide.

“In the very flesh.” she quickly waves off his apologetic expression, tucking a wayward curl behind her ear. “I don’t blame you for not recognising me, we haven’t seen each other for months, and I know I definitely look a lot different since then.” Keith shifts in a miniscule movement next to him, and Shiro turns to him with a soft smile. The shorter boy looks up through his lashes, mouth open to speak, when Pidge interrupts again, standing by Hunk and the desks they’ve grouped together to make a table. She waves them over with a grin, pulling out a chair for herself next to Hunk and gesturing for Shiro to sit in the one to her left. He does as he’s told, and is pleasantly surprised when Lance slips into the seat on his other side with a grin. Due to the boy’s shorter stature and slumped posture, Shiro can see clean over his head as he meets Keith’s unimpressed gaze. 

 

* * *

  
  


They spend a long time chattering over cupcakes and tea (the pot for which materialised out of a cupboard), about classes and friends and teachers. And then, of course, the conversation turns to books. Shiro sits back awkwardly as they all jump into the discussion enthusiastically. Pidge, noting his silence, turns to him with a sympathetic smile.

“Not much of a reader, huh?” the other three boys turn to look at him and Shiro sets his shoulders defensively. 

“I read. I just prefer to spend my time doing other stuff.” Pidge smiles up at him, nibbling thoughtfully at the icing on her cupcake as Lance begins to talk about different titles that he enjoys. Shiro clears his throat, wracking his brain for a new topic that’ll draw the attention off of him. “Activities! What activities do you do as a club?” Lance falls silent, and even Hunk looks awkward. Shiro turns to Pidge.

“Well… we don’t really do any. We mainly just eat and talk about literature, or drink tea and read books.” she bites her lip, looking up at him through her lashes. “But, even though you’re a new member, don’t feel like you’re not allowed to suggest ideas! We’re always looking for ways to improve.” Shiro blinks at her slowly.

“Pidge…” she looks up at him questioningly, taking a small bite out of her cake. “You do realise that I never said I’d join this club, right?” her face falls, and next to him he can hear Lance huff. Even Keith looks upset. “I just… I was thinking about checking out other clubs, and you know I don’t read that much…” he trails off at the sight of their forlorn faces, swallowing awkwardly. Pidge clears her throat quietly.

“I’m sorry, Shiro. I think we all just got caught up in the feeling of our tiny club expanding, even a little.” her voice is so small and sad and he finds he can’t quiet meet her eyes. Hunk sits up a little straighter, eagerness in his eyes.

“Well! Literature doesn’t just have to be reading novels! It could be manga or articles. Or maybe it’s not reading at all. I know some people in here write poems, maybe you could try that?” Pidge perks up a little, pushing her glasses up her face in a quick motion.

“We could all go home and write poems for the meeting tomorrow! We could share them with each other and critique them.” Hunk nods along happily, and even Lance seems happier. Keith shifts awkwardly but he nods his head in a quick little gesture that has Pidge clapping her hands excitedly. Shiro looks down at her, then over to where even Keith has agreed to be part of the activity, and sighs.

“Actually Pidge, you know what? I think I will join.” she freezes in place for a moment, before her pleased little smile grows into a huge grin. Hunk whoops happily from across the table, pushing another cupcake across to him. Pidge wraps her arms around his side, squeezing him in a quick hug before pulling back, face flushed and eyes sparkling. 

“You mean it?” he smiles back down at her.

“I do, I promise.” the thankfulness in her eyes makes it all worth it. And looking round at everyone at the table, he thinks he made the right choice.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Shiro finds out that the way to a person's heart may, in fact, be through poetry

Shiro ducks into the classroom as soon as classes end for the day, not at all surprised to see the other four already making themselves comfortable around the room. Pidge gives him a quick wave when she sees him, herself and Hunk conspiring in the corner, surrounded by sheets of paper. He goes to find somewhere to sit, stepping back in surprise as Lance materialises in front of him, the shorter boy grinning up at him, holding out a brightly coloured paperback. Shiro stares down at it then back up at Lance, an eyebrow raised.

“What is this?” Lance, to his credit, doesn’t seem put off by Shiro’s flat tone.

“Well! Yesterday, you said that you don’t read a lot, so I thought you might prefer starting out with manga.” when the eyebrow stays raised, Lance pulls a face back at him, expression turning slightly sour. “I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not just for kids! And this one is, like, sci-fi so I thought it’d be more interesting for you.” Shiro shakes his head with a smile, reaching for the half-retracted book.

“I appreciate the thought.” he turns it over in his hands, studying the large robot on the cover. “If you spent the time picking it out, the least I can do is give it a shot.” Lance grins up at him, patting the cover of the book twice in quick succession. 

“Good. Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow?” Shiro nods, giving Lance’s shoulder a quick pat.

“Definitely.” and then he’s off, gone to bother Hunk for food, Shiro supposes. He slips the book into his bag, and when he looks back up, Keith is hovering in front of him, expression unreadable. 

“Hey Shiro.” his voice is soft and a little hoarse, like it’s the first time he’s spoken today. Knowing Keith, that’s more than likely. He smiles kindly at the younger boy.

“Keith! How have you been?” he makes a little noise in the back of his throat that could be a ‘good’, and then he’s holding out a book. Shiro makes a little noise of surprise, noting how similar his position is to Lance’s just a few moments ago. With a smile, the older boy reaches over the small gap to take the book. It’s fairly thin, he notes with relief, and is a dark purple in colour. He tucks it into his bag in front of Lance’s manga and meets Keith’s pleased expression with a soft grin.

“I hope you enjoy it.” Shiro goes to reply, but before he can, Keith is already back across the room, pale cheeks flushed a light pink. Shiro looks around at everyone busy in their own little worlds. It’s silent except for the quiet murmuring coming from where Hunk and Pidge are huddled together. With a soft smile, he finds a desk in the back and pulls out the book Lance lent him, immersing himself in a world of aliens and robots. 

 

* * *

 

A throat clears above him and Shiro jumps, eyes breaking away from the page to stare up at Hunk. The boy in question laughs, pulling a chair over to sit across from him.

“You were really in your own little world there, huh?” Shiro shrugs, noting his page before slipping the book back in his bag.

“It’s a really interesting story actually.” he already has a lot to talk about with Lance, hell, he might even finish the book by tomorrow. Hunk smiles warmly across at him.

“I’m really glad that you’ve found something you enjoy so quickly!” Shiro smiles back, eyes flicking over Hunk’s face. The corners of his lips turn down a little at the obvious bags under Hunk’s eyes and the tiredness lining his face.

“When’s the last time you got a full night’s sleep?” Hunk’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to defend himself. At Shiro’s raised eyebrow he slumps forwards, letting out a quiet groan. 

“I’ve been… busy. We’re getting so much homework and I’ve got so many projects on the side, I barely get a moment to myself.” Shiro leans forwards, placing a reassuring hand on Hunk’s forearm.

“You can always ask me if you need help, y’know.” Hunk’s eyes fill with relief and Shiro shakes his head fondly. “You’re always helping everyone else out, let other people help you sometimes.” The other boy pats Shiro’s hand softly, before pushing away from the table in one swift motion and standing, gesturing for Shiro to do the same.

“Come on, Pidge will want to share poems soon.” Hunk laughs as Shiro pulls a face, carefully pulling a sheet of paper from his bag.

“How could I forget.”

 

* * *

 

Pidge claps twice from where she’s perched at the edge of a desk near the front of the class, effectively ending the small conversations that were dwindling down anyway. She leans forwards, as if sharing a secret as she begins to speak, eyes sparkling with excitement. 

“Did everyone write a poem?” there’s a general affirmative mumble from the assembled club members and she swings her legs, buckles on her shoes clacking together as she does. “Instead of reading them out in front of the group, I thought it would be fun to swap with another member and then talk about what we’ve written!” her smile is so eager that no one can even think about saying no, immediately going over to their respective bags to grab their poems. Keith and Pidge both have notebook, whereas himself, Hunk and Lance all have singular sheets of paper, all in different states of wear. Pidge slides off of the desk, still with a bright grin. “Let’s get started then!”

 

Shiro glances around the classroom, watching as Lance and Hunk immediately swap poems. Keith is nowhere in sight so Shiro shrugs and heads over to where Pidge is rocking on her heels. He clears his throat as he approaches and she grins back up at him, seeming genuinely pleased to see him. She holds out her perfect composition notebook with a smile and he tries not to look to awkward as he passes her the page he tore out of his maths book late last night. Pidge immediately begins reading and, with a start, he does the same. 

 

Shiro carefully places the notebook onto the desk, taking back his own poem when Pidge proffers it. She smiles sweetly up at him, eyes twinkling with excitement. 

“That was so good! Have you written poems before?” Shiro can feel his cheeks heat up and he clears his throat before answering.

“No, I think that was my first time ever writing poems.” Pidge lets out a tiny little gasp, rocking forwards on her toes.

“Really? Wow, it was so good for the first time!” she bites her lip, tilting her head in thought. “I guess I can tell, actually. Your style was a bit… choppy. It’s okay though, you’ll find your niche soon!” he smiles back down at her, charmed by her enthusiasm.

“Thank you. I felt like it was a little rushed though.” she shakes her head emphatically. “Well, I appreciate it then. I found your poem incredible.” a dusty pink blush appears over the bridge of her nose and she ducks her head.

“You’re so sweet!” at his encouraging smile she continues. “Inspiration really struck me last night and it’s kinda changed my style.” she giggles happily, the sound high and sweet. “I’m definitely not complaining though!” she glances up to where Lance is hovering alone and gives a little wave, giving Shiro a little nudge as she does. “Anyway! Don’t let me take up all of your time, share with everyone else!” Shiro turns to smile at her.

“Thanks again, Pidge.”

“Anytime! And remember to listen to everyone’s critiques, advice can make the world of difference in your writing!”

 

* * *

 

Lance’s poem is short, which Shiro appreciates. He doesn’t think he could make it through reading four lengthy poems. That’s not to say it’s bad, though.The meaning is clear after some thought, so at least he’s got a bit of a challenge. Shiro watches as Lance’s eyes scan his poem, lips quirking up into a pleased smile by the end. Shiro takes his poem back when offered, folding it back into his pocket as Lance begins to speak.

“That’s really good! It’s not entirely my style but it’s definitely got the makings of something great, it’s almost hard to tell that it’s your first poem.” Shiro laughs bashfully, casting a quick glance over his shoulder to where Pidge is perched on a desk, flipping through her notebook.

“Pidge said that too.” 

“Well, if Pidge said it then it must be true!” Lance hums, lightly tugging his ear. “I think you need to work on writing in a specific style, that way you can find people who like that genre and can give you more clear advice.” He gives Shiro a decisive nod, taking his own poem out of Shiro’s hands. “So, what did you think of mine?”   
“It was interesting, a lot more clear than Pidge’s. I like how you hid the meaning in a way that makes you think, but it’s still fairly obvious.” Lance’s eyes brighten at his words, and he stands a little straighter. 

“I know! People think you have to go one way or another, either making your poems have super obvious or super complex and hidden meanings, but, in reality, you can write however you want.” Shiro smiles back down at him, eyes soft.

“You’ve really carved out a niche for yourself, huh?” Lance nods.

“Yeah, I think I’ve chosen a defined style for myself.” the shorter boy glances behind himself with a sigh. “Well, I guess I’ll use this time to check over my homework.” 

“Thanks for the advice Lance, I appreciate it.” Shiro chuckles as Lance dismisses him with a salute and a cheerful ‘anytime’.

 

* * *

 

Shiro finishes Hunk’s poem with an indulgent smile. 

“Did you forget to write this until this morning?” Hunk pulls a face at him.

“I’ve already said, I was busy!” Shiro receives a mock glare in return for his fond eye-roll. “I think it went alright for the little time I did it in.”

“You did, actually.” Shiro meets his eyes and pushes the scrawled poem back across to him. “It reminds me of you in all of the best ways.” Hunk’s eyes widen slightly at that, fumbling with the paper in his hands.

“Really?” Shiro nods emphatically, and Hunk’s cheeks turn a darker shade. The taller boy clears his throat quickly. “Well, I think your poem was really good too! It definitely feels like something you would write.” Hunk smiles warmly down at him, and Shiro quickly takes the proffered poem to distract himself from how his cheeks warm from the gesture. He looks over his shoulder to where Keith is standing alone, Pidge and Lance already having bonded together to compare poems. Hunk follows his gaze and smiles softly. “Wel, I’ll leave you to it, have fun!” Shiro laughs, pushing his chair back under his desk.

“Maybe don’t wait until tomorrow morning to write your next poem.” Hunk rolls his eyes with a laugh as Shiro heads over to where Keith is hovering.

 

* * *

 

Shiro takes his poem back from Keith, fingers brushing against the rough leather of his gloves. The shorter boy stammers, pale cheeks flushing as he jerks his hand back and begins twisting his fingers together. Shiro takes pity on him and quickly cuts through his mumbles.

“I think your poem was incredible!” Keith’s head snaps up and he freezes, speechless. “It was so similar to you, and I think the simplistic style worked really well.” Keith’s lips quirk up into a shy smile.

“Thanks. I… everything online said that poems need to make the reader think and be super complex but I thought that was… odd, I guess. Like, why shouldn’t you just be able to state everything clearly. After all, if people are reading it for fun, they shouldn’t have to dig for deeper meanings.” Shiro’s polite smile turns proud, proud that Keith is talking so much, proud that Keith seems to have found a passion, proud that Keith is happy to share his opinions. Upon seeing the older boy’s expression, Keith’s cheeks flush an even darker red, and he clears his throat, fingers tapping a quick rhythm on his notebook, rescued from Shiro’s grasp nearly without him noticing. “I liked your poem too, it was nice.” Shiro smiles over at him.

“Thank you Keith, that means a lot.” Keith flashes a quick smile back, turning to foot around in his bag. He pulls out a leather-bound book and Shiro takes that as his cue to leave, tapping twice on the desk near Keith’s knee as a farewell before heading across the classroom to see if he can read some more of the book Lance lent him. 

 

* * *

 

A figure stands over him and Shiro’s concentration breaks, marking his page with his finger and looking up, Lance standing, arms crossed, next to the desk where he’s taken up residence, Keith hovering a few paces behind, an irritated scowl set on his face. Shiro sighs and Lance apparently takes that as his cue to speak.

“You thought my poem was better than Keith’s, right?” Keith huffs from behind as Shiro glances between the two.

“What’s this about?” Lance goes to reply but Keith jumps in before he can.

“Lance went off about my poem, saying that real poems make the reader think and that you shouldn’t spell out the meaning for them. And then he couldn’t seem to believe that you liked my poem.” Shiro glances mournfully down at his book, slipping his folded poem in as a bookmark and setting it aside. Knowing how stubborn Keith is and Lance seems to be, this could take a while.

“I liked both of your poems.”

“But which was better?” Shiro turns to stare helplessly at Hunk and Pidge, their conversation dwindling as they catch sight of what’s happening. Lance turns as they begin to approach and glares as Pidge opens her mouth to speak. “Stay out of it, Pidge. It doesn’t involve you.” the shorter girl turns pink, stopping dead in her tracks, and Shiro can’t help the chastising look he sends Lance’s way. Lance avoids his eyes as even Keith looks at him disparagingly. Hunk takes that as a cue to finally step closer, butting into the conversation with his usual warm smile fixed onto his face.  

“I liked both of your poems, personally.” Lance rolls his eyes.

“Hunk I don’t want you to get involved, it doesn’t concern you either.” he replies. Hunk pouts, putting a warm hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“But it does, you’re my friends and I don’t want you to fight. Your poems are completely different genres. It does no good trying to compare them, they both have their strengths and weaknesses.” Lance sighs and steps back, thrusting Keith’s poem back towards the shorter boy. Keith scowls up at him, putting it in his bag before ducking out of the room.

“Okay, okay.” Hunk’s face brightens and Pidge, sensing the change in atmosphere, jumps in with a smile.

“Well, how did we all feel about writing and sharing our own poems?” Lance shrugs in reply, still looking a little shame-faced. But Hunk is quick to answer.

“I found it super fun! It was interesting to see everyone’s different styles.” Pidge smiles gratefully at him as Keith joins the group quietly, placing a tray with a teapot and cups onto Shiro’s desk. 

“I thought it was interesting too.” Shiro looks up at Keith, the other boy’s cheeks flushing red as everyone looks over to him. He busies himself with pouring tea, avoiding their eyes. Shiro smiles over at Pidge as he shoves his book back into his bag.

“I liked it. I think I got a lot of good advice.” Pidge grins delightedly over at him. She takes a proffered cup of tea from Keith and hoists herself onto an empty desk.

“Well, if everyone had fun, maybe we could all write another one for tomorrow?” There’s a few nods and affirmative mumbles from around the room and Pidge’s smile widens even more. “Great! I can’t wait to see what you all come up with!” The look she sends Shiro’s way seems like she’s expecting great things. And, well, he’ll try his best to deliver.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Hunk gets hurt and is way more blaisé about it than Shiro would like

Hunk smiles happily at Shiro as he enters.  
“Hey Shiro!” Shiro smiles.  
“Hi Hunk! You look like you’re in a good mood today.” He laughs.  
“I’m just still not used to you being in the club yet!” Hunk admits with a grin. Shiro rolls his eyes.  
“Well, you have plenty of time to get used to it now!”  
“That’s true!” He suddenly perks up. “Shiro, do you want to go get a snack?” Shiro raises an eyebrow.  
“No thank you.” Hunk tilts his head, confused.  
“What? Why?” He hums.  
“Why don’t we have a look in your wallet?” Hunk freezes.  
“...why?” Shiro shrugs.  
“Just curious!” Hunk slowly pulls out his wallet and turns it upside down. Two small coins fall out and clink on the table. He snorts. “I knew it. I can see right through you, Hunk.” The boy in question laughs.  
“Fair enough. But how did you know?”  
“It’s simple.” Shiro clears his throat. “If you had enough money in the first place, you would have bought a snack before coming to the clubroom. So, either you're not hungry and wanted an excuse to take a walk or you planned to conveniently forget that you spent all your money, so that I would lend you some!" He smiles triumphantly. "But there's one more thing! You're always hungry! And so, that only leaves the one option.” Hunk pouts.  
“Okay, okay! Just stop making me feel guilty!” Shiro shrugs.  
“If you’re feeling guilty it’s your own fault.” Keith snorts out a laugh from where he’d been listening, pretending to read his book. Or maybe reading it at the same time. It’s hard to tell with Keith. As they look at him he looks up, cheeks turning a light pink.  
“I- I wasn’t listening in or anything! It was just something in my book…” Hunk steps closer to him, a pleading expression on his face.  
“Keith! Tell Shiro to stop making me feel guilty!” Hunk blinks. “Oh! And tell him to let me borrow some money!” Keith glances back at his book, face flushed.  
“Hunk! Don’t get me involved like that…” he shrugs. “You should only buy what you can responsibly afford and frankly, after pulling a mischievous little stunt like that, your suffering is fair enough retribution." His face flushes an even darker shade. "Ah! Did I just..." He bites his lip. "I-I didn't mean that! I got too absorbed into my book..." Hunk laughs.  
"I really like when you speak your mind, Keith!"  
He shrugs. "It doesn't happen much, but it's a fun side of you!" Keith shrugs.  
“I’m… don’t just say things like that!” Hunk yelps as a chocolate chip cookie hits him square in the face. He looks around, eyes wide, before catching sight of Lance in the doorway. He shrugs.  
“I was gonna just hand it to you but I heard you trying to trick Shiro into buying you stuff.” Hunk smiles.  
“I don’t care. I love your mom’s cookies! They’re so good!” He eats it in three quick bites whilst Shiro and Keith just nibble at theirs. Hunk pulls Lance into a hug. “Thank you!” Lance rolls his eyes but relaxes into the hug. Shiro can relate, Hunk’s hugs are the best. Lance lets out a yelp as Hunk leans over and takes a huge bite out of his cookie. Lance raises an eyebrow, reaching for Hunk.  
“Hey!” Hunk quickly trots a safe distance away. Lance stomps his foot. “You can be such a kid sometimes!” Shiro turns, a smile on his face.  
“Hey Pidge! Are you-” he pauses. Pidge isn’t there. She’s not anywhere in the club room. Shiro clears his throat. “Have any of you seen Pidge?” Lance and Hunk pause their bickering and even Keith looks up from his book. They gaze around the room, as if trying to will Pidge into existence. Keith furrows his brow.  
“Have any of you heard anything about her being late today?” The three other boys shake their heads and Keith bites his lip. “That’s… odd.” Hunk’s face turns nervous.  
“I hope she’s okay…” Lance snorts.  
“Of course she’s okay! She probably just had something to do. She is pretty popular after all.” Hunk’s eyes widen.  
“You don’t think she has a…” Keith shrugs.  
“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Shiro tilts his head, confused. Before he can ask a question the door swings open and Pidge walks in, looking harried.  
“Sorry! Sorry!” Shiro smiles.  
“Oh, There you are!”  
“I didn’t mean to be late! I hope you guys weren’t worried or anything…” Hunk grins.  
“Wow! You’re so strong-willed!” At Pidge’s confused look he elaborates. “You chose the club over your boyfriend!” Her mystified expression doesn’t clear.  
“Boyfriend?” She glances at Shiro. “What on Earth are you on about?” Shiro shrugs.  
“Don’t worry about it! How come you were late?” Pidge sighs, running her fingers through her hair.  
“I had study hall last period. I kinda lost track of time…” Keith tilts his head.  
“Surely you heard the bell?” She shakes her head.  
“Actually I was… practicing piano.” They turn their full attention to her. Keith blinks twice.  
“I didn’t know you played music…”  
“Well, I only just picked it up! I’ve always wanted to learn though.” Hunk grins.  
“That’s so cool! Maybe you could play something at some point?” Pidge nods, glancing at Shiro.  
“Sure! When I’ve got better.” Shiro grins.  
“I’m looking forward to it!” Pidge smiles sweetly.  
“Is that so? In that case, I’ll try not to let you down!”  
"I didn't mean any pressure or anything like that!"  
“Don't worry! I've been practicing a whole lot recently. I'd really love the chance to share once I'm ready.” Shiro smiles kindly.  
"In that case, best of luck."  
"Thank you!” She glances around the room. "So, I didn't miss anything, did I?"  
"No, not really." Shiro glances at Hunk and Lance before going at sitting at a desk. He’s considering getting Keith’s book out when Hunk walks over to him.  
“Shiro!” Hunk smiles. “I was going to get some supplies from a different classroom. Do you want to come with?” Shiro tilts his head, confused.  
“Supplies?” Hunk nods.  
“Well, you know how the festival is coming up?" At Shiro’s nod he continues. "Me and Pidge were gonna make some posters and stuff so I need to go find some crayons, and markers, and glue sticks.” He shrugs.  
“Sure, I’ll go with you.” Hunk grins.  
“Yay!” He calls out to Pidge as they leave the room. “We’ll be back soon!” She looks up before hopping off the desk.  
“Oh! Are you going to get supplies?” Hunk nods and she smiles brightly. “You don’t need to trouble yourself! I’d be happy to go with Shiro.” Hunk pouts.  
“But I wanted to go! It’s so much fun exploring the empty classrooms.” She giggles.  
“Okay. It was just a suggestion. Have fun!” Pidge bites her lip. “Oh! And try and find some poster paper, okay?” They nod before leaving, letting the door swing shut behind them.

In the classroom next door, Hunk roots around in the cupboards, occasionally handing Shiro things to hold.  
“Hey Hunk?” At the boy’s hum he continues. “What are we actually doing for the festival? I’m not sure how you can make an event out of literature.” Hunk laughs, careful not to hit his head as he steps out of the cupboard.  
“Don’t worry about it! Pidge and I have it all sorted.”  
“Really?” Hunk nods.  
“Yep! We’re going to do a poetry performance! So everyone goes up on stage and recites a poem.” Shiro considers.  
“That sounds… interesting.”  
“It will be! You're not thinking about it the right way at all! It's not just about reading poems, it's about performing them!" Shiro laughs.  
“I’ll take your word for it!” Hunk laughs, clapping his hands twice.  
“I’m so excited for the festival!” He turns to face the cupboard again and furrows his brow. “Is that…” Hunk suddenly brightens. “Crayons!” He pulls the box off the shelf and examines them. “They’re the best brand, too!” He pulls a face. “They’re kind of dirty though.” Hunk starts pulling crayons out of the box, looking at the colour names. Shiro rolls his eyes.  
“That’s one down! Don’t get distracted, we still have to find-”  
“Wait! I’m looking for my favourite colour!” Shiro nudges at him.  
“At least move out of the way so I can look for poster paper.” Hunk yelps.  
“Oh! I accidentally dropped one!” Hunk bends to pick it up but ends up smacking his forehead right on the shelf. He falls to the floor, spilling crayons everywhere. Shiro crouches down.  
“Are you okay?” He clutches his forehead and Shiro gently tries to take his hand away. “Let me see, okay?” Hunk slowly takes his hand away, lifting his hair off his forehead. Shiro lets some air out through his teeth. “You’re going to need some ice. Or maybe a cold drink if I can’t find any.” Hunk shakes his head.  
“Don’t worry about it! It doesn’t hurt as much anymore.”  
“You sure?” Hunk nods and Shiro sighs. “Okay then. Pidge is going to freak though.” Hunk shakes his head.  
“I’ll just cover it with my bangs!” Hunk clambers to his feet and immediately stumbles. Shiro does his best to steady him.  
“Don’t stand up so fast after hurting yourself!” Hunk smiles guiltily and Shiro sighs. “I guess it’s too late now.”  
After gathering up the dropped crayons, they shut the cupboard door and leave, heading back to the club room.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the differing opinions about the upcoming festival are shared

Back in the classroom Pidge fusses around Hunk for a few moments, concerned.  
“Oh no! What happened?”  
“I was playing with crayons and smacked my forehead into a shelf!” Pidge sighs.  
“I see.” She shrugs. “Did you manage to get everything?” Hunk nods enthusiastically.  
“Yep! I’ve got it all right-” he pauses, scanning the desk before checking his pockets and the floor. He pouts. “Oh no! I left it all in the classroom…” Shiro laughs.  
“Nope! Don’t worry, I’ve got it all here.” He holds up a roll of paper. “I found the poster paper, too.” Pidge giggles.  
“Well Shiro, it sounds like you ended up doing all of the work.”  
“Well Hunk…” Shiro bites his lip.  
“I made it an adventure!” He shrugs, accepting the answer. Pidge smiles brightly.  
“Okay, okay.” She shrugs. “In any case, good work! I'll start working on the posters tonight.” Hunk grins.  
“Me too!” Pidge nods, brushing some hair over her shoulder.  
“Great! Okay, is everyone ready to share poems?” Shiro and Hunk nod, going to grab their poems.

Shiro glances around the room, eyes resting on Hunk with a smile. He quickly walks over to him before he can pair off with anyone else.  
“Hey Hunk! Do you want to share poems?” Hunk smiles happily.  
“Sure!” He takes Shiro’s poem and reads it, smile growing even wider as he does. “This is incredible! It makes me feel all emotional!” Shiro smiles, slightly bashful.  
“Really?” Hunk nods his head with a grin.  
“Yep! You’re a super good writer!” He hands Shiro his poem. “Read mine?” Shiro nods, carefully taking the paper.

_Bottles_

_I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar._  
_It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams._  
_Little balls of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens._  
_I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out._  
_It's warm and tingly._  
_But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe._  
_And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles._  
_Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row._  
_My collection makes me lots of friends._  
_Each bottle a starlight to make amends._  
_Sometimes my friend feels a certain way._  
_Down comes a bottle to save the day._  
_Night after night, more dreams._  
_Friend after friend, more bottles._  
_Deeper and deeper my fingers go._  
_Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies._  
_Digging and digging._  
_Scraping and scraping._  
_I blow dust off my bottle caps._  
_It doesn't feel like time elapsed._  
_My empty shelf could use some more._  
_My friends look through my locked front door._  
_Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends._  
_In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?_  
_I frantically pull them from the shelf, one after the other._  
_Holding them out to each and every friend._  
_Each and every bottle._  
_But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet._  
_Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor._  
_They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling._  
_They're all shouting, pleading. Something._  
_But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo_  
_Inside my head._

Shiro looks up at Hunk, eyes wide.  
“Wow. Hunk, did you really write this?” He laughs.  
“Of course I did! I told you last night that I was going to write something that would blow you away!” Shiro shrugs.  
“I guess I just didn’t expect something like this. Especially not from you.”  
“Well, Pidge gave me a lot of tips!” He bites his lip. “And I've been really in touch with my feelings recently…” Shiro nods.  
“I can see that. It's almost kind of creepy.” Hunk tilts his head.  
“Creepy...?”  
"Well, not exactly..." Shiro pauses, thinking it through before continuing. "Maybe because I'm so used to you being cheerful..." He shrugs. “I guess I'm thinking too hard about it. The point is, it came out good, so you should be proud of it.” Hunk grins.  
“Thank you! I feel like… like I was meant to express myself this way.” He shrugs, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. “It even helps me understand my own feelings better. Writing is like magic!” Shiro smiles.  
“You’ve gotten pretty passionate about this, huh? I hope you keep it up!” Hunk nods happily.  
“Yep! Writing is the best. I’m gonna do it until the day I die!”  
“Don’t get ahead of yourself!” Shiro smiles indulgently. Hunk has a habit of ditching things after a few weeks. The only thing that he’s kept is baking. He can’t help but notice the look in his eyes though. Maybe Hunk has finally found a hobby he can stick with.

Shiro exchanges a few more words with Hunk before heading over to Keith.  
“Hi Keith.” He nods, taking Shiro’s poem. He reads it quickly, smiling at some parts.  
“This is good. You’ve definitely improved.” Shiro tilts his head.  
“Already?”  
“Yeah. You’re more consistent in your style.” He smiles softly. “Well done.” Shiro laughs, holding his hand out for Keith’s poem.  
“Well, I hope I can get some tips from your writing!”

_ The Racoon _

_It happened in the dead of night while I was slicing bread for a guilty snack._  
_My attention was caught by the scuttering of a raccoon outside my window._  
_That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unordinary human._  
_I gave the raccoon a piece of bread, my subconscious well aware of the consequences._  
_Well aware that a raccoon that is fed will always come back for more._  
_The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom._  
_The bread, my hungry curiosity._  
_The raccoon, an urge._  
_The moon increments its phase and reflects that much more light off of my cutting knife._  
_The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my raccoon friend._  
_I slice the bread, fresh and soft. The raccoon becomes excited._  
_Or perhaps I'm merely projecting my emotions onto the newly-satisfied animal._  
_The raccoon has taken to following me._  
_You could say that we've gotten quite used to each other._  
_The raccoon becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy._  
_Every time I brandish my cutting knife, the raccoon shows me its excitement._  
_A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread._  
_And I feed myself again._

Shiro sits for a moment, processing it, before sitting up. Keith bites his lip.  
“I tried to be a little more daring with this one…” Shiro nods.  
“I can see that. It’s a lot more metaphorical.” Keith’s lips twitch up into a small, soft smile.  
“That's right. It's a bit closer to my preferred writing style. That is, using the poem as a canvas to express vivid imagery, and conveying emotions through them.”  
"Yeah, if I take it at face value, then I can't even figure out what it's supposed to mean..." Keith shrugs.  
"Well I think it's something that different people can relate to in their own way.” His face flushes a little. “I wanted to express the way it feels for me to indulge in my more unusual hobbies. It's those sorts of things I'm usually forced to keep to myself. So, I sometimes enjoy writing about them.” Shiro nods.  
“That makes sense!” He shrugs. “Why keep them to yourself though?” Keith’s face flushes even darker.  
“Because it’s embarrassing! And… and people would make fun of me…” Keith looks up at him, eyes wide. “Don’t you have something like that?”  
“I guess…” Keith nods.  
“I feel like everyone has a little something like that. The best we can do is respect each other and our individualities. Even if it's difficult sometimes, and some things make us uncomfortable. After all, if I hadn't learned to embrace my own weirdness, I would probably hate myself." He freezes for a second, swallowing audibly before continuing, voice slower and softer now. “I-I might be ranting a little bit now. I'm glad that you're a good listener.” Shiro smiles.  
“Anytime!”

He heads over to Lance next, greeting him happily before handing him his poem. Lance reads it before snorting in disgust.  
“You have to be kidding me!” Shiro looks at him, eyes wide.  
“Is something wrong?”  
“Of course something’s wrong! This is… it’s not fair! You were meant to show me a bad poem so I could show you mine as an example.” He slams the paper on the desk and turns away, arms crossed. Shiro tilts his head, bemused.  
“So you’re saying it’s good?”  
“I’m saying you should go away.” He slowly picks up the poem, confused.  
“I never got to read your poem though.” Lance shrugs, still glaring. Shiro sighs, leaving the desk with a quiet goodbye.

His smile brightens slightly as he approaches the last person. Pidge. As she hears his footsteps, she looks up from some papers with a smile.  
“Hi there Shiro! You doing okay?” The boy in question nods.  
“Yep! How are you?”  
“I’m alright!” She holds her hand out. “Ready to share poems?” He grins, handing it over. Pidge nods happily, smiling wider as she goes through it.  
“Is it good?” Shiro asks nervously. She giggles.  
“It’s amazing! I like the emphasis you’ve put on tone in this one.” He smiles, cheeks feeling a little warmer.  
“Thank you!” Pidge smiles, handing him his poem back.  
“Anytime!” She grabs her notebook and holds it out to him. “Here!”

_ Save Me _

_The colors, they won't stop._  
_Bright, beautiful colors_  
_Flashing, expanding, piercing_  
_Red, green, blue_  
_An endless_  
_cacophany_  
_Of meaningless_  
_noise_

  
_The noise, it won't stop._  
_Violent, grating waveforms_  
_Squeaking, screeching, piercing_  
_Sine, cosine, tangent_  
_Like playing a chalkboard on a turntable_  
_Like playing a vinyl on a pizza crust_  
_An endless_  
_poem_  
_Of meaningless_

_Load Me_

 

Shiro bites his lip.  
“It’s even more abstract than last time.” Pidge shrugs, letting out a small laugh.  
“I guess it’s just the way I write. I’m sorry if you don’t like it.”  
“No! I like it! I’ve just… never really seen anything like this before.” She smiles kindly.  
“I kind of like playing with my space on the paper. Choosing where and how to space your words can totally change the mood of the poem. It's almost like magic.” She hums. “The way I wrote the lines really short makes it feel like they're trying to speak over the noise.” Shiro nods.  
“I see. It's still hard for me to tell what it's about, though.” Pidge laughs softly.  
“Sometimes asking what a poem is about isn't the right question. A poem can be as abstract as a physical expression of a feeling. Or a conversation with the reader.” She smiles up at him. “So, putting it that way, not every poem is about something.”  
Pidge giggles. “Anyway! Here's Pidge’s Writing Tip of the Day! Sometimes you'll find yourself facing a difficult decision. When that happens, don't forget to save your game! You never know when you might change your mind or when something unexpected may happen!” She pauses, tilting her head. “Wait...is this tip even about writing? What am I even talking about?” She shakes her head, bright smile back in place. “That's my advice for today! Thank you for listening!” Shiro blinks slowly, unsure of what just happened. He shrugs before heading over to Hunk.

“Okay everybody! Now that we’re done sharing, I have something extra planned! Could you all come sit over here?” Shiro looks up from his conversation with Hunk, heading to the front of the class with a shrug. Lance tilts his head.  
“Is this about the festival?”  
“Well, sort of-” Lance scoffs.  
“Do we really have to do something for the festival? It's not like we can put together anything good in just a few days. We'll just end up embarrassing ourselves instead of getting any new members.” Keith nods.  
“That's a concern of mine as well. I don't really do well with last-minute preparations…” Pidge smiles reassuringly.  
“Don't worry so much! We're going to keep it simple, okay? We won't need much more than a few decorations. Hunk has been working on posters, and I've designed some pamphlets we can give out during the event." Lance shrugs.  
“Okay, that's great and all but that doesn't tell us what we're actually going to be doing for the event.”  
“Ah, sorry! I thought you heard about it already.” Pidge claps her hands excitedly. “We're going to be performing!” Lance pulls a face. “Performing?” She grins.  
“Yeah! We're going to be having a poetry performance. Each of us are going to choose a poem to recite during the event. But the cool part is, we're also going to let anyone else come up and recite poems too! Hunk's putting it on all the posters in case anyone wants to prepare ahead of time.” Hunk waves from where he’s been colouring in a poster. Lance’s eyes narrow.  
“Are you kidding me, Pidge? You didn't… you didn't already start putting those posters up, did you?” She tilts her head, confused.  
“I did. Do you really think it's that bad of an idea...?” Her voice is small. Lance shakes his head.  
“Well, no. It's not a bad idea.” He pulls a face. “But I didn't sign up for this, you know! There is no way I'm going to be performing in front of a group of people like that!” Keith bites his lip.  
“I… I agree with Lance! I could never do something like that.” Hunk looks up, face conflicted.  
“Guys…” Pidge shakes her head.  
“Don’t worry about it Hunk. Remember that Lance and Keith have never shared their poems with anyone until just a couple days ago. It's a lot to ask for them to recite their poems out loud to a whole room full of people. I guess I kind of overlooked that.” She looks away. “So, I'm sorry.” Lance sighs and she kicks her legs. “But I still think we should give it our best! We're the only ones responsible for the fate of this club. If we start the event and each put on a good performance then it will inspire others to do the same! And the more people who perform, the better we'll be able to show everyone what literature is all about!” Pidge’s face is bright. Everyone can see how much this means to her. Hunk nods.  
“Yeah! It’s about expressing your feelings, being intimate with yourself and having fun!” Pidge grins.  
“That’s right! Those are the reasons we’re all in this club today. Don’t you want to share that with others? To inspire them to find the same feelings that brought you here in the first place?” Her eyes are pleading. “And if all it takes is standing in front of the room for two minutes and reciting a poem then I know you can do it!” There’s silence from Keith and Lance. Hunk is beginning to look worried. Shiro sighs.  
“I agree. I don't think it's too much to ask. I think that Hunk and Pidge have been trying really hard to get new members. The least we can do is help them out a little bit.” Lance pulls a face.  
“Well, maybe. But…” it looks like he’s ran out of arguments. His expression twists for a second before he shrugs. “Okay, fine. I guess I’ll just have to get it over with.” Pidge smiles.  
“Thanks Lance! What about you, Keith?” He looks at everyone’s expectant faces in turn, sighing softly.  
“I guess I don’t really have a choice.” Hunk grins.  
“That’s everyone! You’re the best, Keith!” He rolls his eyes.  
“This club is seriously going to be the death of me.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Shiro is (one again) concerned for Hunk, and with (once again) good reason

Pidge giggles, clapping her hands for silence.  
“Let's move onto the main event! I want each of you to choose a poem of yours. We're going to practice reciting them in front of each other.” Lance shakes his head, eyes wide.  
“No way!” Keith slumps his shoulders, trying to hide himself.  
“Pidge! This is too sudden…” Pidge shrugs.  
“Well, if you can’t recite your poem in front of the club, how do you expect to do it in front of strangers?” Keith bites his lip and Pidge smiles reassuringly.  
“Don’t worry! I’ll start us off to make everyone feel more comfortable!” Hunk grins.  
“Can I go second?” She giggles, nodding.  
“Sure thing!” Pidge flips through her notebook, looking for the right poem. She jumps off the desk, standing behind the podium in the middle of the room. She clears her throat, tucking a loose bit of hair behind her ear before beginning. “The title of the poem is ‘The Way They Fly.’” Pidge begins reciting the poem, voice clear and confident. Shiro gazes at her, slightly awestruck as she seems to almost bring the words to life, applying the right amount of emotion behind each line. He glances around the room, seeing everyone’s faces turned towards Pidge. She finishes speaking and everyone applauds loudly, faces bright. Pidge smiles brightly.  
“That was really good, Pidge!” Hunk exclaims. The smile on his face is infectious. She giggles.  
“Thank you Hunk! I just wanted to set a good example. You ready to go next, Hunk?” Keith swallows nervously, standing up.  
“I- I’ll go next!” Hunk gapes.  
“Wow! Keith’s fired up all of a sudden!” Keith clutches a sheet of paper in his hands, quickly walking to the podium with his head down. He awkwardly clears his throat.  
“This poem is called…” He glances at the rest of the club, biting his lip. Hunk lets out a little cheer.  
“You can do it, Keith!”  
“It’s called ‘Afterimage of a Crimson Eye’.” Keith begins to read, voice shaking at the start. Shiro can’t help but wonder what made him change his mind about doing this. After the first few lines, his voice changes. His quivering words transform into sharp syllables. The poem is full of twists and turns that he enunciates with perfect timing. And then he’s done. There’s a stunned silence as everyone stares at him, eyes wide. Keith flushes, beginning to fold in on himself. Shiro smiles, quickly starting to applaud. Everyone else quickly joins in, giving Keith the recognition he deserves. Keith hides his face, hurrying back to his seat.

Lance and Hunk read out their poems, both reciving applause from the rest of the group when they’re done. Hunk can’t stop laughing when he begins but he quickly straightens himself out. Lance grumbles a little before reluctantly complying, reading out his poem. And then it’s Shiro’s turn.

He stands behind the podium, clears his throat, and begins. It’s a little rocky and since he’s only written two poems, Shiro reads the one he wrote today. When he’s done his still recives enthusiastic applause from the rest of the club. He smiles slightly bashfully.  
“Sorry I’m not as good as everyone else.” Pidge smiles kindly at him.  
“Don't worry about it so much. I think it's less about your abilities, and more about your lack of confidence in your writing. That's something that'll improve over time, though.” Shiro nods, smiling back at her. She claps her hands.  
“Okay! That’s everyone, right?” She turns to face Lance and Keith. “That wasn’t so bad, right?” Keith nods and Lance gives a bored shrug.  
“I guess.”  
“Well, do you at least feel prepared enough to recite a poem in front of other people?”  
“I mean, doing it in front of other people will be way easier! I can put on whatever face I want for other people.” Lance bites his lip. “But when it's just my friends it's just...embarrassing.” Hunk shrugs.  
“That's a surprise, Lance. I think it would be the other way around for me.” Lance rolls his eyes.  
“Well, that’s just how it is, so…” Pidge smiles.  
“Well, in that case, you won’t have to worry about the festival as much!” Her face softens. “That said, I want to thank everyone for coming through. It might be hard, but I hope that you all have an idea of what it’s like now. Make sure you pick a poem and get enough practice before the festival, okay?” Pidge drums her fingers against the desk, swinging her legs. “I’ll be making pamphlets, so let me know ahead of time what you’ll be reciting!” Shiro laughs, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.  
“I should probably find some other poem to recite instead.” Pidge giggles happily.  
“That’s fine too! It doesn’t have to be your own poem. I'm already pleasantly surprised that you're putting in all this effort for the club.” She looks up at him through her lashes. “It makes me really happy.” Shiro’s face flushes a light pink.  
“Y-yeah! No problem!” Pidge nods, clapping her hands.  
“Okay everyone! I think that’s about it for today. I know the festival is coming up, but let’s try to write poems for tomorrow, as well! It’s been working out really nicely so far, so I’d like to continue that.” She taps the circular glasses that Shiro notices are always in her pocket. “As for the festival, we’ll finish planning tomorrow, and then we’ll have the weekend to prepare. Monday is the big day!” Hunk grins.  
“I can’t wait!”  
“I can do this… I can do this…” Keith’s face is determined, repeating the same four words under his breath. Shiro waves goodbye to the rest of the club, holding the door open for Hunk.  
“Let’s go Hunk!”

On the way back they talk about pretty much nothing. At some points it looks like Hunk wants to ask a question but he brushes him off every time Shiro tries to ask. He decides to leave it be. Hunk will tell him when he’s ready.

 

* * *

 

Pidge sighs.  
“Oh, man! I’m the last one here again!” Shiro smiles down at her.  
“Don’t worry about it! I only just walked in myself.” Keith looks up from his book.  
“Were you practicing piano again?” She nods, letting out a little laugh. Keith gives a small smile. “You must have a lot of determination. First starting this club, and now picking up piano.” Pidge smiles at him.  
“Well, maybe not determination but passion, I guess. Remember that the club wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you and I'm super happy that you're all willing to help out for the festival, too!” Lance nods.  
“The festival is going to be amazing! I can’t wait!” Pidge tilts her head.  
“Weren’t you the one complaining about the festival just yesterday?” Lance shrugs.  
“Yeah. Well, I’m not excited for our bit but the rest is just an excuse to eat and mess around all day!” Shiro laughs.  
“You’re reminding me of Hunk a little.” Pidge shakes her head, amused.  
“Let’s start by focussing on our part of the festival, okay?” Lance shrugs again, a smirk on his face.  
“Fine, fine. You’re reactions aren’t as fun as Keith’s or Hunk’s, anyways.” Keith glares.  
“Shut up.” Shiro glances around the room.  
“Where is Hunk, anyway?” He catches sight of him sitting at a desk in the corner, staring down at nothing. Shiro walks over to him, a slightly concerned expression on his face. “Hey Hunk. You okay?” He looks up, surprised.  
“What?” Shiro smiles softly, sitting down next to him.  
“You’re spacing out again.” Hunk lets out a small, hollow laugh.  
“Oh, sorry. You can go talk to everyone else, okay?”  
“Is everything okay?”  
“W-why wouldn’t it be?” Shiro shrugs.  
“You just look a little… off. I’m sorry for assuming.” Hunk smiles, though it looks like it’s pasted on.  
“You worry too much about me! I’m fine, see!” He looks over at Shiro, though not in the eyes. “Don’t let me distract you from having fun!” Shiro nods, quickly reaching across and squeezing Hunk’s hand before getting up.  
“If you’re sure.” At Hunk’s soft nod he leaves, still worrying. He bites his lip before heading over to Pidge.

She looks up from where she’s stacking up some posters as she hears him approach.  
“Hey Shiro!” Pidge catches sight of his expression and pauses. “Is everything okay?” Shiro drops into the seat next to her.  
“It’s Hunk…”  
“Hunk?” He nods.  
“Have you noticed anything… odd about his behaviour lately? Anything up with him?” Pidge tilts her head, chewing her lip.  
“I don’t think so…” she shrugs, glancing at Hunk. “Maybe there is something up? I’m sorta surprised I’m not the one asking you. You certainly know him much better than I do.” Shiro pulls a face.  
“I tried to ask him but… nothing.” He looks up. “Oh! Sorry! I know it’s not your problem! I just wanted to ask if you knew anything…”  
“No, don’t worry about it! It’s important to me too. I might try talking to him myself.” Shiro tilts his head.  
“You sure?” She nods.  
“Maybe he just had a hard time bringing it up with the person of interest.”  
“‘Person of interest’? What do you mean by that?” She shrugs.  
“Maybe the thing on his mind is you.” Shiro’s eyes widen.  
“How on Earth would you come to that conclusion?” She hums, considering, before beginning to speak, picking her words carefully.  
“Well, I probably shouldn't say too much, but Hunk talks about you more than anything else, you know? He's been so much happier ever since you've joined the club. It's like an extra light was turned on inside of him.”  
“What? No way. Hunk… is always like that. He's always been full of sunshine. It's not any different now than it always has been.” Pidge giggles.  
“You're so funny, Shiro. Have you thought that maybe you've always seen him as so cheerful because that's just how he is when he's around you?” At Shiro’s blank look she sighs, kicking her legs. “Ah...I said too much. I'm sorry...what do I know, anyway? I didn't mean to jump to conclusions, so you should just forget about what I said. I'll try to talk to him, so try not to think about it for now.” Shiro shrugs, watching as she heads over to Hunk. Pidge is the club president after all, it’s probably best to just listen to her in regards to this.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Hunk isn't feeling so good, and Shiro has to make a decision in front of an audience

Some time passes and Pidge clears her throat.  
“Okay, everyone! Why don’t we share our poems now?” Shiro glances up at her when they go to grab their poems and she smiles back. He can’t help but wonder what she and Hunk talked about.

Shiro heads over to Lance first, hoping to be able to read the poem today. He hands his poem over to Lance and sits on the desk next to him. Lance’s face scrunches up and he throws the poem back at him.  
“It’s… okay, I guess.” Shiro tilts his head.  
“Thank you?” Lance snorts.  
“Whatever. I don’t really want to share mine.” He sighs, standing up and smoothing out his poem. Shiro waves a quick goodbye before heading over to Keith.

“Hey Keith!” The boy looks up from his book, cheeks slightly flushed.  
“Hi Shiro…” he smiles down at him before taking the seat next to Keith.  
“Do you want to share?” Keith nods, taking the poem. He reaches the end of the poem and looks up with a smile.  
“This is really good. You’ve definitely improved and I can see a style emerging.” He passes the poem back and Shiro smiles.  
“Thank you! Can I see yours?” Keith nods and holds it out to him.

_Ghost Under the Light pt. 2_

_The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow._  
_Bathing._  
_In the distance, a blue-green light flickers._  
_A lone figure crosses its path - a silhouette obstructing the eerie glow._  
_My heart pounds. The silhouette grows. Closer. Closer._  
_I open my umbrella, casting a shadow to shield me from visibility._  
_But I am too late._  
_He steps into the streetlight. I gasp and drop my umbrella._  
_The light flickers. My heart pounds. He raises his arm._  
_Time stops._  
_The only indication of movement is the amber light flickering against his outstretched arm._  
_The flickering light is in rhythm with the pounding of my heart._  
_Teasing me for succumbing to this forbidden emotion._  
_Have you ever heard of a ghost feeling warmth before?_  
_Giving up on understanding, I laugh._  
_Understanding is overrated._  
_I touch his hand. The flickering stops._  
_Ghosts are blue-green. My heart is amber._

Shiro smiles.  
“This is amazing! It’s a continuation of your first poem, right?” Keith nods shyly. He goes to hand the poem back but Keith looks away, not taking it. Shiro bites his lip. “Does this poem… does it mean a lot to you?” Keith nods again. “I'm not really good with words, but I'm happy that you shared it with me. So, thank you.”  
“You always know what to say to make me feel better…” Keith shrugs, face a light pink. “You can… keep it, if you want.” Shiro smiles.  
“Thank you.”

Shiro sits next to Hunk who doesn’t look like he’s moved from the desk he was at earlier.  
“Hi Hunk, do you want to share poems?” Hunk smiles, taking Shiro’s poem and reading through it.  
“This is your best one so far. It's really really nice, Shiro!”  
“Oh! Thank you!” Hunk nods. “Hunk, you’ve been a little quiet today. Is everything alright?” He looks up.  
“Everything is fine! I think I’m just a little tired.”  
“Do you want to take a nap or something?” Hunk laughs.  
“No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about me, alright? Just stay happy and positive!” Shiro nods slightly reluctantly.  
“Okay…” Hunk smiles.  
“Hey, Shiro? I’m still a little surprised. I really thought that you would try writing your poems like the way Keith does or even Lance. But in the end…”  
“Yeah. I guess you're the one who likes this one the most.” Hunk’s eyes widen a little.  
“Why? You don't want to get closer with everyone else?”  
“Of course I do! But that doesn't mean I need to try so hard to impress them. I still understand you the most, Hunk. I know you have to sometimes put up with me and I have to sometimes put up with you. But we have… a wavelength or something and this is how the poem came out. Sometimes it feels like you're the only exciting thing in my life. So sometimes it's just easier to write when thinking about you.” Shiro glances at Hunk, cheeks a little fluhed. “...Hunk?”  
“I… no. I don’t… deserve this. You’re too nice to me. Why are you doing this?” Hunk has trouble keeping his voice steady, all of a sudden. “If you had fun with everyone else instead this would be… so much easier!”  
“Hunk...!” Shiro glances around the room to see if anyone’s noticed. “Hunk. I've probably never said this before, but I don't understand what you're feeling right now. Tell me what will cheer you up.” Hunk shakes his head. He sniffles and keeps shaking his head. Finally, he gathers himself and puts on a smile."  
“It's nothing, Shiro. It's just a little raincloud. I'm sorry you had to see that.” He smiles reassuringly. “I promise it won't happen again. Just smiles from everyone, okay? That's all that matters.” Hunk sighs. “I'm gonna go home a little bit early today. Tell Pidge I wasn't feeling well, okay? I'll see you tomorrow.” Before Shiro can say anything else, Hunk cheerfully walks out of the classroom, humming to himself.

Shiro heads over to the last person, Pidge. She smiles brightly as he approaches.  
“Hi Shiro!”  
“Hey Pidge.” He holds out his poem. “You ready to share?” She takes his poem out of his outstretched hand and reads it. When she’s done she giggles.  
“It's kind of funny…” Shiro tilts his head, confused.  
“How so?”  
“No, not the poem. I mean, it's funny how your poems and Hunk's poems have been getting more and more similar to each other every day. I'm surprised you're so in sync with him. Then again, you've been spending a lot of time together lately, haven't you?” Shiro shrugs.  
“Ah, I guess you could say that. Although we kind of grew up as best friends, I haven't been seeing as much of him this past year but since I joined the club, we've been spending a lot of time together again.” Pidge smiles.  
“I see. That reminds me. About how Hunk's been a little bit off today…” he straightens up a little.  
“Yeah? Did he tell you something?” Pidge hums.  
“Well… Shiro, you haven't been flirting with him, have you?” He flushes red, eyes widening.  
“O-Of course not! I've been treating him like I always do.” She giggles, kicking her legs.  
“Just making sure. I know how much you care about him. It would be terrible if something bad happened to him, so keep an eye on him. Hunk's been acting so much happier ever since you joined the club. What could have happened all of a sudden...?” Shiro stays silent, not having an answer. Pidge sighs, shrugging her shoulders. “Well, never mind. This really isn't the time to be talking about this…” she clears her throat. “Anyway! Want to read my poem now?”

_The Lady Who Knows Everything_

_An old tale tells of a lady who wanders Earth._  
_The Lady who Knows Everything._  
_A beautiful lady who has found every answer,_  
_All meaning,_  
_All purpose,_  
_And all that was ever sought._

  
_And here I am,_

  
_a feather_

  
_Lost adrift the sky, victim of the currents of the wind._

  
_Day after day, I search._  
_I search with little hope, knowing legends don't exist._  
_But when all else has failed me,_  
_When all others have turned away,_  
_The legend is all that remains - the last dim star glimmering in the twilit sky._

  
_Until one day, the wind ceases to blow._  
_I fall._  
_And I fall and fall, and fall even more._  
_Gentle as a feather._  
_A dry quill, expressionless._

  
_But a hand catches me between the thumb and forefinger._  
_The hand of a beautiful lady._  
_I look at her eyes and find no end to her gaze._

  
_The Lady who Knows Everything knows what I am thinking._  
_Before I can speak, she responds in a hollow voice._  
_"I have found every answer, all of which amount to nothing._  
_There is no meaning._  
_There is no purpose._  
_And we seek only the impossible._  
_I am not your legend._  
_Your legend does not exist."_

  
_And with a breath, she blows me back afloat, and I pick up a gust of wind._

_“_ You know. I feel like learning and looking for answers are the sorts of things that give life meaning. Not to get too philosophical or anything but it was kind of on my mind, so that's what I wrote about.” Shiro nods.  
“I see. I never really put much thought into it.” Pidge smiles.  
“In a way, it's almost paradoxical. Because if we had all the answers, wouldn't the world start to lose its meaning?” He hums.  
“You know, there's one thing I noticed… It seems like everyone in the club prefers writing about things that are more sad than happy.” Pidge giggles, taking her poem back.  
“Are you surprised? I mean, if everything was okay we wouldn't really have anything to write about, would we? Humans aren't two-dimensional creatures. I think you'd know that better than anyone.” Shiro tilts his head.  
“You mean one-dimensional?” She looks up.  
“Ah… yeah, that!” She fiddles with her glasses. “Anyway, here's Pidge's Writing Tip of the Day! Are you ever too shy to share your writing because you're afraid it's not that good? It can be really diheartening to get a lukewarm response to something you put so much into. But if you find other people who enjoy writing, then sharing becomes a lot easier! Because instead of just telling you that your writing is good, or okay, or bad they'll want to focus more on everything that went into it, and the things you can work on. It's much more encouraging that way, and it will make you want to continue improving. It's almost like having your own little Literature Club, don't you think?” She smiles brightly. “That's my advice for today! Thanks for listening!”

“Okay, you three!” They all gather around Pidge at the front of the room. “We're all done sharing poems, right? Why don't we start figuring out-”  
Lance straightens up.  
“Wait! Is it just me, or did you say something strange just now?” Pidge bites her lip, face confused. Keith nods.  
“Something did sound a bit unusual… that’s right. You deviated from your usual catchphrase when addressing the club.” Pidge’s eyes widen.  
“Catchphrase? I don’t have a catchphrase…” Lance scowls.  
“Why is the mood so weird today? Look, even Keith isn’t immune to it.”  
“Stagnating air is common foreshadowing that something terrible is about to happen.” Keith mutters, shoulders hunched. Shiro lets out a small laugh.  
“In your books, maybe! Look, the only thing different is that Hunk isn’t here.” Pidge sighs.  
“Hunk always helps lighten the mood a little, doesn’t he?” She runs her fingers through her hair. “It’s almost like everyone’s balance is thrown off a little when he’s not around.” Lance raises an eyebrow.  
“Where the hell did he run off to, anyway?” Shiro sighs.  
“Ah, he actually wasn't feeling too well and went home early…” Keith gives a tiny smile.  
“I hope he’s okay.” Lance huffs, crossing his arms.  
“Seriously? Of all the times to not go home with him, you pick the time he's not feeling well? So much for you two being all lovey-dovey.” Shiro turns red.  
“Hey! First of all, stop misunderstanding my friendship with Hunk!” He makes sure to put particular emphasis on the word ‘friendship’. “And second, he's kind of been avoiding me today, so I didn't want to force it.” Keith gasps and Shiro glances at him, confused. Pidge clears her throat.  
“Calm down, guys! I talked to him earlier, and everything is fine.” Shiro perks up.  
“What did he say?” She looks at him, biting her lip, before ignoring the question completely.  
“Anyway, we need to figure out the rest of the festival preparations, so let's decide what everyone will be doing this weekend.” Pidge smiles at Lance. “Hunk and I we’re wondering if you could make snacks? I think you mentioned your mom has good recipes once.” Lance nods.  
“They’re the best!”  
“We might need a lot though, can you handle that all by yourself.” He grins.  
“Challenge accepted!” Pidge smiles back.  
“As for myself, I’m going to be printing and assembling all the poetry pamphlets. Hunk will be helping me design them. And as for Keith…” she bites her lip. “Keith, you can…” she shrugs. “Guys, can you help me come up with something for Keith?” Keith flushes, hunching in on himself.  
“I… I’m useless…” Pidge’s eyes widen.  
“No! That’s not it at all! You’re the most talented person here, you know?” Lance’s eyes narrow and he look away, glaring. Pidge yelps, looking between them. “I- I’ve upset Lance now too?” Shiro sighs.  
“Even I can tell now. I guess I never gave Hunk enough credit, but I can tell things are even harder on you when he’s not around.” Pidge sighs.  
“That may be the case but if I can be a leader on my own, then I won’t grow as a person!” She turns to Keith. “So, Keith! You have beautiful handwriting so you should make some banners and decorations to help set the atmosphere, you know?” Keith smiles.  
“I love atmosphere.” His gaze focuses and he begins nodding to himself, muttering quietly. It looks like his mind is already racing. Pidge grins.  
“That’s great! You’ll be a wonderful help, Keith!” She turns to Shiro. “That just leaves you, Shiro.” He laughs.  
“The one who is truly useless.” She giggles.  
“Don’t say that! In fact, Lance and Keith both have some pretty heavy tasks to handle. It would probably go a long way if you gave one of them a hand!” She looks away, cheeks looking a little pinker. “You could always help me out, if you want. I’d really appreciate that…” Shiro’s eyes widen. Pidge is suggesting he spend the weekend with a club member. Keith shrugs, cheeks flushed.  
“I… suppose I wouldn’t mind a bit of help…” Lance snorts.  
“Well, even if you don’t know how to cook, there’s always some dirty work I could give to you. It’s not like I have much of a choice and you shouldn’t be lazing around anyway.” Keith narrows his eyes.  
“If I recall, you mentioned that you would like to handle the baking alone. Shiro might not like to be around you if you just treat him like a nuisance.” He shrugs. “He might be more suited to assisting with the decorations.” Lance huffs.  
“I never said that! How hard could it be to make a few decorations, anyway? Sounds like you’re just making excuses for Shiro to-” Keith cuts him off.  
“What are you saying! It’ll be extremely meticulous work.” Lance snorts.  
“And baking isn’t? Just what do you think-”  
“Guys, guys! Lets settle down for a moment. In the end, I think it’s up to Shiro to decide how he’d like to contribute.” Pidge shrugs, glancing away. “Besides! He hasn’t really gotten the chance to spend any time with me yet, you know? So I’m sure he’s interested in-” Lance glares.  
“You literally just said-”  
“I… I’m surprised as well!” Pidge sighs.  
“Sorry, sorry! I was just saying…” Lance huffs.  
“Whatever, can we just settle this already?” Pidge smiles, nodding her head.  
“You’re okay with this, right, Shiro? In the end, it’s up to you.” He nods.  
“Of course.” Shiro bites his lip. “If it’s going to be anyone, then I prefer helping Hunk. I mean, we’re already neighbors, and-” Keith furrows his brow.  
“But Pidge said…” Lance nods, jumping in.  
“Pidge said that Hunk is helping her!” Lance scowls. “Wow. Do you really hate us that much.”  
“N-no!” He glances at Pidge pleadingly. She shrugs.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to be so difficult.” She smiles. “Just think of the club, okay?” Shiro glances between Lance and Keith before shrugging.  
“Well, cooking sounds fun. And you guys made it sound like a lot of work, so it could probably use two people.” Lance grins.  
“Baking is so much fun! You’ll definitely enjoy it!” Pidge tilts her head.  
“Just a minute ago you were saying that-” Lance cuts her off.  
“T-that’s because…” he bites his lip. “Never mind, okay!” Pidge shrugs, turning to Keith.  
“You’ll be okay by yourself, right, Keith?” He sighs.  
“Of course. I’m used to it, after all.” There’s an awkward silence.  
“That’s… good…” Pidge bites her lip. Shiro can’t help but feel bad for Keith, even if he is being a little melodramatic. Lance clears his throat.  
“So, that’s all, right? Anything else we need to talk about?” Pidge glances down at her notebook.  
“No, I think that’s it…” she smiles. “Are you guys excited?” Lance’s grin widens.  
“Yep! Everything except the performance is going to be awesome!” Shiro shrugs.  
“I don’t think that really counts…” Pidge smiles.  
“What about you, Shiro?”  
“Me? Ah, I guess you could say I’m interested to see how it’ll turn out.” Pidge smiles.  
“That’s good enough for me! What about you, Keith?” There’s silence. Lance snorts.  
“He’s still sulking.” Keith stares blankly at the desk. Lance sighs. “It’s not… I mean, it’s not that big of a deal or anything…” Shiro shrugs.  
“Well, it might not just be that…” Lance tilts his head and Shiro continues. “I think that Keith might just be feeling a little underappreciated in general. Having to come up with something for him to do, and then nobody offering to help.” Lance hunches his shoulders.  
“That doesn’t mean…” he looks between everyone with a worried expression before sighing. “Look…” he goes over and puts his hands on Keith’s shoulders. “Keith. You really are the most talented one here. And… and you’re going to help make the event a lot more fun and welcoming. I mean, the food will probably help a lot too but you’re going to make the atmosphere special. That’ll be really important for the way that people feel during the performances.” Lance clears his throat. “So you need to stop being dumb and give yourself a little more credit!” Lance lets go of him and turns away. Keith clears his throat, cheeks flushed a light pink.  
“You… you didn’t really mean that, did you?” Lance chews at his lip and doesn’t answer. Shiro glances at Pidge, noticing that she looks fairly surprised too. And then it hits him. Lance was trying to sound like Hunk. Even if it didn’t work perfectly, he tried his best to say something that Hunk would say at a time like this. Keith smiles softly. “I’m… sorry for being dumb. I’m going to do my best. And all of us are going to make it a really great event.” Lance nods.  
“Yeah.”  
“I hope to see everyone do their best!” Pidge says with a smile. “But with that, there’s nothing more for today. I guess it’s time for us to head out.” Lance shrugs.  
“Okay, but I think I’ll stay a bit longer. I barely got to do any reading today.” Pidge smiles kindly.  
“Fair enough, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

One by one, everyone packs up their things to leave. Shiro goes to follow Pidge and Keith out the door, only to be stopped by Lance’s voice.  
“Where are you going?” Shiro turns, confused. “We still need to figure out our plans for the weekend. You literally would’ve gotten home and realised that you didn’t even have a way to contact me.”  
“That’s true. I have no idea how that slipped my mind.” Lance rolls his eyes.  
“It’s a good thing I stopped you.” He hunts in his bag for a pen before grabbing Shiro’s hand and scribbling something on it. “I’m giving you my number, okay? You better not make it weird or anything!”  
“Why would I do that?” Lance snorts but doesn’t expand on his statement.  
“Okay. I’m coming over on Sunday. I’ll bring all the ingredients.” Shiro’s eyes widen.  
“Wait! You’re coming to my house?”  
“Well, yeah. What’s wrong with that?” Shiro bites his lip.  
“I just figured that since I’m the one helping, I would be going to your house.” Lance laughs.  
“Yeah, right. My siblings would bug us so much, we’d never get anything done.” He rolls his eyes fondly. “Anyway. We have each other’s numbers now. That’s all I needed from you. I guess I’ll text you when I’m coming over.” Shiro smiles.  
“That’s fine with me!” He waves happily. “I’ll see you on Sunday!” Lance smiles slightly bashfully.  
“Sure. Whatever.”

Shiro walks home, slightly in a daze. Lance is going to his house on Sunday. He wishes he could have worked with Hunk but he’s already with Pidge. Shiro can’t help but feel guilty about it, even though he knows he shouldn’t. Nothing will happen.  
“Besides, it’s like a Pidge said. This is about the club. I have nothing to worry about.” He mutters to himself, unlocking the front door. Nothing to worry about at all, hopefully.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which Hunk expresses his fears

It’s already Sunday. Shiro can’t help but feel anxious about Lance’s upcoming visit. They’ve been texting a lot. It started with a text to double-check their numbers, but it quickly turned into a conversation. Lance uses so many emojis in his texts. It’s kinda cute. But, putting Lance aside, Shiro is walking over to Hunk’s house, deciding to visit him. Instead of asking Shiro just texts him ‘I’m coming over.’ like they used to do when they were younger. He knocks on the front door before entering the house.

The house is quiet. Hunk isn’t anywhere on the first floor so he must be in his room. It’s odd that he hasn’t already run down the stairs. Shiro heads up to his bedroom, where he finally finds him.  
“Hunk?”  
“Hi Shiro.” Hunk forces a smile, but it’s easy to tell that he’s different. There’s a moment of silence after Shiro perched on his bed before Hunk sighs. “You haven’t come over like this in a long time, have you?” Shiro furrows his brow, thinking.  
“I guess you’re right. It has been a long time.” He glances around the room. “Not much has changed, has it?” Hunk laughs.  
“If you came over more often, it wouldn’t be such a mess.” Shiro snorts, leaning back.  
“That’s because I end up cleaning it for you.” Hunk shrugs.  
“How come you decided to come over today? Aren’t you supposed to meet Lance?”  
“Yeah, but- wait. How did you know that?” Hunk had already left when they decided that.  
“Pidge told me. It's only natural for her to keep me informed about the festival preparations, right?”  
“Ah, that's true. But what about you? Aren't you going to be helping Pidge today?”  
“Of course! But I'm just helping her online. We didn't plan to meet up or anything.”  
“Ah, so it's just me and Lance, then…”  
“Yep!” There's more silence between them. Hunk stares in a random direction. Everything about his behavior is really uncharacteristic. Shiro finally gets to the point.  
“I just...wanted to see how you were doing after you left on Friday. When something's wrong, you can't hide it from me! I know you too well. So…” Hunk smiles, shaking his head.  
“That's no good, Shiro.” Shiro tilts his head in confusion. “Why can't it just be like it's always been? This is all my fault. If I didn't get so weak and accidentally express my feelings… If I didn't make that stupid mistake then you wouldn't have been worried about me at all. You wouldn't have come here. You wouldn't have even been thinking about me right now. But this… is just my punishment, isn't it? I'm getting punished for being so selfish. I think that's why the world decided to have you come over today. It just wants to torture me.” Hunk laughs, visible tears shimmering in his eyes.  
“Hunk!" Shiro grabs Hunk by the shoulders. “What on Earth are you saying? Are you listening to yourself right now? I know something happened to you. There can’t be any other explanation for you being like this. So tell me, already! Until I know, I won't be able to stop thinking about it!” Hunk gives Shiro an empty smile.  
“You really put me in a trap, Shiro. But you're wrong. Nothing happened to me. I've always been like this. You're just seeing it for the first time.”  
“Seeing what? What are you talking about, Hunk?” He laughs sadly, running his fingers through his dark hair.  
“You're really just going to make me say it, aren't you, Shiro? I guess I have no choice this time.” Hunk sighs, biting his lip, before starting. “The thing is… I've had really bad depression my whole life. Did you know that? Why do you think I'm late to school every day? Because most days, I can't even find a reason to get out of bed. What reason is there to do anything when I fully know how worthless I am? Why go to school? Why eat? Why make friends? Why make other people put their energy and caring to waste by having them spend it on me? That's what it feels like. And that's why I just want to make everyone happy without anyone worrying about me.” Shiro stays silent, shocked. How is it possible that Hunk kept this from him the entire time they’ve known each other? Did he really want so badly for Shiro to just not think about him?  
“Why have you never told me about this? If I knew, I would have done everything I could to support you! Even if there's only so much that I could do, I would have tried a little bit harder to make every day a little better for you. That's why I'm your friend! All you had to do was tell me!”  
“You don't understand at all, Shiro. Why do you think I didn't tell you? Because if I told you, then you would have to waste effort caring about me instead of doing important things. I don't want to be cared about. It's bittersweet, when people try to care about me. It feels nice sometimes. But it also feels like a bat being swung against my head.” Hunk laughs. It sounds entirely too hollow. “That's why I wanted so badly for you to make friends with everyone else. Helping everyone be happy together is the best thing for me. But then, I discovered something else, too. Seeing you make friends and get closer with everyone in the club, it feels like a spear going through my heart. So, that's why. That's why I decided the world just wants to torture me. Every path leads to nothing but hurt.”  
“You're right that I don't understand. I don't really understand what you’re feeling at all, Hunk. But I don't need to understand. Whatever it takes for me to help you stop hurting, that's what I'll do.”  
“No, Shiro. There's nothing. Nothing at all. The only thing that could have helped is if everything could be like it always was. But I was selfish. I finally showed you what a horrible person I am.” Tears streak down Hunk's face. “I made you join the literature club because I was selfish and so I was punished by my heart hurting in a way that I couldn't understand. And now you’ve come here and I made you hurt, too. I'm just weak and selfish. That's all I am. And that's why I'm going to accept these punishments. Because I deserve every last one.” Shiro grabs Hunk’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight embrace. Hunk yelps in surprise, still sniffling softly.  
“Hunk. I don't care if you feel selfish. I'm really happy that you convinced me to join the club. Seeing you every day makes it worthwhile enough. If I make friends with everyone else, then that's just a bonus but please never underestimate how much I care about you. I wouldn't have it any other way.”  
“Shiro…” Hunk isn't hugging him back. Despite Shiro’s arms being wrapped around him, Hunk's arms remain at his sides. He starts sobbing next to Shiro’s ear. “No… don't do this… to me. Please don't do this… Shiro… I…” Hunk barely manages to speak between his sobs. Shiro doesn’t know if he’s doing the right thing but all he want is for Hunk to know that he cares.  
“If you have it in you to call yourself selfish, then you have to let me be selfish too. No matter what it takes, I'll figure out what needs to change. I'll make these feelings go away and if there's anything that you need me to do then you'd better tell me.” Hunk is silent before he quietly swallows. “I...don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Gently, Hunk finally puts her arms around Shiro in return. “I don't know anything. It's all really scary. I don't understand any of my feelings, Shiro. The only time I'm not feeling nothing is when I'm feeling pain. But your hugs are so warm and that's really scary, too.” Hunk finally lets go, the smile on his face looking less fake than earlier. Shiro smiles back.  
“The festival is tomorrow. It’s going to be fun, right?” Hunk nods slowly.  
“Yeah.”  
“How would you like for me to spend it all with you?” Hunk gasps, surprised. “It's what I want, I promise.”  
“I… I think that would be nice, then…” Hunk wipes his eyes. If Shiro could spend the whole day here, he would. Shiro sighs.  
“Of all days, this has to be the one where I have other plans. Maybe I should cancel-”  
“No, don't-! Please don't… If you did that...then I really wouldn't forgive you.”  
“But, well, it's almost time for Lance to meet me at my house. At the very least, do you want to come along and help out? It would be fun.” Hunk shakes his head.  
“I'm sorry. I don't know if that would be very good for me today. You understand, right?”  
“It's...kind of hard for me to fully understand but I'm trying my hardest.”  
“It's okay. Don't worry too much about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?”  
“...Alright.”  
  
Shiro says goodbye to Hunk, giving him one last hug before exiting his house. He can’t help but feel uneasy on the way home but it’s hard to keep thinking about it when Lance is about to come over. Hunk is probably right. Shiro shouldn’t be worrying too much and they’ll definitely have a fun time tomorrow. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the day of the festival finally occurs (and Shiro makes a distressing revelation)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Suicide is mentioned at the end of this chapter.  
> **  
>  (Most of it is pretty vague but if you’re sensitive to it, stop reading at around the point where Shiro enters Hunk’s house)

Shiro is barely in his house for a few minutes when he gets a text from Lance, telling him he’s outside. When Shiro opens the door he gapes for a few moments, thrown off by the sight of Lance in something over than his uniform. Lance scowls.  
“Jeez, don't make it feel so awkward already! It's gonna be a long afternoon, so don't be weird just because you're not used to seeing me outside of school.” He pushes past Shiro. “Anyway, I'm coming in.” Shiro hurries ahead, ushering Lance into his kitchen. He nods at his bag.  
“I see you brought a lot of stuff.” Lance raises an eyebrow.  
“Well, I didn't want to come all this way to find out that your kitchen isn't equipped for the job. You bought everything I asked you to, right?”  
“Yeah, I did.” Yesterday, Lance had asked him to buy a bunch of ingredients if he didn't already have them at home.  
“Good! Glad I could count on you to do your part.”  
“Well… of course.” Shiro is surprised to hear Lance suddenly say that, rather than something snarky like he usually does. Could it be that he is a little different outside of school after all? Lance shrugs.  
“Are we getting started, or what? There's a lot of stuff I gotta teach you.” Shiro laughs, causing Lance to narrow his eyes.  
“What?”  
“That's a little bit more like you. You're more fun when you just speak your mind like that.”  
“H-Hey! I was just trying to be a little nicer to you, you know?” Shiro sighs, smiling at him.  
“I appreciate that you were trying to be nicer. I should have been a little more considerate, too.” Shiro glances at the clock. “Maybe we should get started.” Lance nods, starting to pull things out of his bag so they can get started.

Before long, the whole kitchen is a mess. Spoons, dirty bowls, flour, spilled fluid, and plastic bags are strewn about every countertop. While they work, Lance keeps a close eye on Shiro to make sure he doesn’t mess up his ‘family recipe’. Lance glances around.  
“Shiro, where did you put the food colouring? I need it for the batter.” Shiro tilts his head, pausing in his stirring. Lance slaps his wrists lightly as a way to tell him to continue.  
“What do you need it for?”  
“I’m going to make each tray a different colour. That way, people can pick their favourites even if they don’t taste different.” Shiro smiles.  
“That’s a cute idea!” Lance snorts but doesn’t say anything, seperating the batter into smaller bowls and putting a few drops of food colouring into each. Shiro nods.  
“That does look pretty cool!” Lance smiles smugly.  
“The presentation is where you get to be creative and have the most fun. It's a million times more worth it in the end if just looking at it makes everyone's eyes lighten up.” They were using the electric mixer for the batter, so Shiro got stuck with a whisk and a huge bowl for the icing. Lance peers into the bowl and glares.  
“The icing is all lumpy! Are you even trying?” Shiro furrows his brow.  
“Well, yeah, it’ll just take longer.” Lance snorts, grabbing the whisk and bowl.  
“I’ll be here all night if you do it like that.” He beats the icing quickly. After a few seconds, the consistency has already improved. Lance raises an eyebrow before sticking a finger in the icing and putting it in his mouth. Shiro goes to do the same but Lance grabs his wrist. “Hey! I don’t want your fingers in my icing!” Shiro raises an eyebrow.  
“Your icing?” Lance nods, putting his hand on his hip.  
“Yeah! Or did you forget who made it into actual icing?” Shiro rolls his eyes, leaning closer to get a taste. Lance yanks the bowl away and they quickly begin to fight over it. Shiro manages to get some icing on his finger, only to accidentally wipe it on Lance’s face. Lance retaliates, wiping a huge blob of icing onto Shiro’s forehead, getting some in the front tuft of his hair.  
Eventually, Shiro puts his fingers in the bowl, trying to get some more icing. He pauses as he can only feel the bowl. Lance and Shiro both look into the bowl, seeing only the barest traces of icing left. They look around, realising that most of it is on each other and the counters. Shiro begins to laugh and, after a few moments, Lance joins in. Eventually they sober up, clearing their throats. Lance picks up a tray.  
“I’m… going to put these in the oven now.” Shiro nods, starting up a new bowl of icing.

“That smells so good!” Shiro grins. The cupcakes smell incredible. Lance opens the oven door and a blast of sweet-smelling warm air fills the room. Lance smiles proudly, showing off the different-coloured sweets. “Look how cute they look!” Shiro nods.  
“They’ll look even better when they’re decorated!” Lance nods in agreement, pulling out a bag filled with decorating materials. Shiro picks up a nozzle with a much thinner tip from the others, turning it in his hands. Lance glances at it.  
“You can use it to make stripes or other patterns. But you can also use it to write stuff!” Shiro hums in consideration.  
“Well, it’s a literature event, right? We could make it more literature-themed by writing a different word on each one. It would be fun to see people choose their snack based on the word they like the most.” Lance nods slowly, looking extremely surprised.  
“I was kind of expecting you to say something really stupid but that's actually… a really cute idea." Shiro laughs happily.  
“Thank you!” Lance flushes lightly, picking up a icing bag.  
“There’s a lot to do, so we shouldn’t be wasting time! Here, I’ll show you how to do it.” Without giving him a chance to think about before, Lance quickly moves on. He shows Shiro how to apply the icing, and then they each get to work.

  
When they're finally finished, Lance puts them all side by side to admire their work.  
“Look at how pretty they are together!” Shiro grins.  
“Yeah, they are, aren't they?”  
“I wish I could have one now!”  
“Well, there's no reason you can't, right? I don't see any harm in that.”  
“Well, yeah, but my mom's making dinner tonight, so I really need to save my appetite." Shiro laughs.  
“Hunk's the exact opposite in that regard. If he was here, we'd probably be down ten cupcakes already and he would still eat dinner.” Lance rolls his eyes.  
“That’s so unhealthy!” He clears his throat. “Anyway, I was hoping we would have time for manga but I need to be home for dinner.” Shiro sighs.  
“Oh, already? That’s a shame.”  
“It’s your fault for working so slowly!” Lance shrugs. “You can bring the cupcakes tomorrow, right? If you and Hunk each carry some, then you can probably do it in one trip.” Shiro nods.  
“Yeah, I can do that. And don't worry, I won't let him eat any.” Shiro can’t help but remember his conversation with Hunk earlier. He had felt so helpless. Hunk always does listen to him, but at that point it felt like he couldn’t listen to Shiro at all.  
Lance clears his throat.  
“Okay, I’m all packed up. Good work today!” Shiro smiles, walking Lance out.  
“You too.”

Outside the house, Lance waves to Shiro, smiling.  
“Well, I guess I’ll be off then. Thanks for the help and everything. I’ll see you tomorrow!”  
“Wait, Lance.” Lance turns, surprised.  
“Yeah?”  
“What you said before, about not always having this chance. It doesn't have to be that way at all! I had fun today. But aside from that, you can come over anytime, okay? I think that if possible, I'd like to spend more time like this. If you want to read manga, or go out somewhere-”  
Lance clears his throat.  
“Do you… really mean that?” Lance looks at Shiro tensely, like he’s trying to hide his expression.  
“Of course! It’s fun to spend time with you.” Lance shrugs, face slightly flushed.  
“I'm sorry I had to leave so early today. I really didn't want to! I would really… stay here longer if I could.” Lance steps closer and Shiro yelps, staring into his eyes. Lance lifts his head, bringing his face even closer to Shiro’s and he feels his heart skip a beat. There’s a soft sigh from behind them and Lance steps back, startled. Hunk is standing a few meters away, watching carefully. Shiro smiles awkwardly.  
“Hey, Hunk!” He waves back, stepping a little closer.  
“Hi, Shiro.” He looks between Shiro and Lance. “I just came over to say hi!” Lance brushes at his shirt, picking his bag up.  
“Y-you should have come a little earlier! I’m already on my way out.” Hunk sighs.  
“Really? That’s too bad…” Lance shrugs.  
“Well, I’ll see you both at the festival tomorrow, so it’s fine. Make sure not to eat any cupcakes!” Clearly flustered, Lance hurries off, Hunk and Shiro waving goodbye.  
“I thought you didn't want to come over today!”  
“Well, I tried staying in my room but my imagination was being really mean to me. So I had to come here and see it for myself.”  
“See what? What are you talking about?”  
“You know, how much fun you were having with Lance and how close you got to him. It makes me… really happy that you've made such good friends. That's all that matters to me.” Tears start to fall down Hunk's face. “Why am I feeling this way, Shiro? I'm supposed to be happy for you. Why does it feel like my heart is splitting in half? It hurts so much…” He hunches his shoulders. Shiro doesn’t know what to do. What to say. “Everything hurts so much. This would be so much better if I could just disappear!”  
“Hunk, don't say that!”  
“It's true, Shiro! If I wasn't here, then you wouldn't have to waste your sympathy on me! You wouldn't have to put up with me being selfish!” Hunk swallows, wiping at his eyes. “Pidge was right. I should just…” he trails off, unwilling to continue.  
“Pidge? Pidge was right about what?” Hunk stays silent. “Hunk, what I said before is true. I'm not going to let this continue. Caring about you like this isn't the burden your mind is making it out to be. It's something that makes me happy. It's something that I wouldn't trade for anything else. So, even if it takes an entire lifetime, I'm going to be by your side until you don't feel any more pain.”  
“B-But…” Hunk looks away. Shiro puts a hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “I'm scared, Shiro. I'm really scared…”  
“What are you scared of, Hunk?”  
“I'm scared that…” Hunk bites his lip. “That I might like you more than you like me…”  
“Hunk?”  
“It's true, isn't it? I was weak and started to like you too much. I did this to myself.” More tears start to form in Hunk’s eyes, spilling out and running down his cheeks. “Shiro, I like you so much that I want to die! That's how I feel! And… and…”  
“That's enough, Hunk. I don't want you to hurt anymore.” Shiro slides his hand down Hunk's arm and squeezes his hand.  
“Do you remember how I said I always know what's best for you? Do you still believe me?” Wordlessly, Hunk nods. “Even if you don't understand all of your own feelings, I think I know what you need the most right now and that's what I'm going to give to you.” Shiro swallows nervously, face flushed. “Hunk. I love you.” Hunk gasps, staring at him in shock. “Those are my true feelings. So, there’s no way you could like me more than I like you. I should have realised it sooner. But spending time with everyone at the club, making new friends, and having fun with you every day helped me realise that you are truly the most important person to me. That's why I'll accept any of your burdens. As long as we continue like this every day, with you by my side, then I know we'll both be happy.” Suddenly, Hunk wraps his arms tightly around Shiro.  
“Shiro. Is this… really okay?”  
“Yes.” Shiro holds Hunk in his arms, pulling him closer. “You’ll never have to let go of me again.” Hunk sniffles.  
“I love you, Shiro. I want to be with you forever.” Shiro smiles into his shoulder.  
“Me too.” Hunk’s grip slackens.  
“What is this? I’m supposed to be happy right now. So why, even now, are there rain clouds? Why won’t they go away?”  
“It's okay, Hunk. It might take some time for things to get better again but no matter how long it takes, I'll be there every step of the way. That's all that matters right now.” Hunk nods slowly.  
“I trust you.” Slowly they release each other, hearts beating rapidly.  
“So, I guess that makes the festival tomorrow… our first date?” Hunk laughs.  
“What are you saying? I don’t want to think about those things, y’know? I want everything to be the same as it always has been. Even if we really are… a couple. I don't know if I could handle anything more right now. It's really new and scary to me.” Shiro smiles kindly.  
“I understand. We'll go at whatever pace suits you best.”  
“Hey, Shiro…” Hunk gazes at him, smiling sadly. “Even if I get really, really sad, this is the best thing for me, right?” Shiro tilts his head, confused by Hunk’s words.  
“Are you saying that this is making you feel sad, Hunk?”  
“I-I don't know. I don't understand what I'm feeling. It felt like a bunch of thorns when you told me you love me but that's why I want to trust you. You know what's best for me…” Shiro nods.  
“I promise.” In reality, he’s never felt more uncertain in regards to Hunk. Shiro loves him, and Hunk loves him too but Shiro is having trouble understanding Hunk’s feelings properly. Shiro can comfort him but he can’t help but wonder if he should be doing something more, something different.

 

* * *

 

It’s the day of the festival. Shiro expected he’d walk to school with Hunk but the other boy isn’t answering his phone. He had considered going to wake him up but ultimately decided against it. Meanwhile, the preparations for the event should be nearly complete. Shiro had just about managed to carry all the trays, having to ignore Lance’s barrage of texts as he had no spare hands. Shiro is feeling a lot like Lance in regards to the even. He’s more excited for it to be over so he can spend time with Hunk. But, knowing Pidge, the event will probably be great, too.

Pidge greets him happily as he enters the classroom.  
“Shiro! You’re the first one here. Thanks for being early!” Shiro glances around.  
“That’s funny, I thought at least Keith would be here now.” Pidge is placing little booklets on each desk. They must be the ones she prepared that has all the poems in. In the end, Shiro had just submitted a random poem online. Pidge smiles.  
“I’m surprised you didn’t bring Hunk with you.” Shiro shrugs.  
“He overslept again.” His mind flashes back to yesterday’s conversation and he begins to wish he had woken Hunk up. Pidge giggles.  
“You should take a little responsibility for him, Shiro! I mean, especially after yesterday. This morning you kinda left him hanging, y’know?” Shiro turns to face her fully.  
“Exchange? Pidge, you know about that?” She smiles, flicking through one of the booklets.  
“Of course I do! I’m the club president, after all.” Shiro stammers, embarrassed. He can’t help but be surprised that Hunk told her that they’re a couple so quickly. He swallows, shrugging his shoulders.  
“You don’t really know the full story…” Pidge smiles kindly.  
“Don’t worry. I know a lot more than you think.” Shiro feels a chill down his spine as she says that. Pidge is being as friendly as usual but something feels off…  
“Hey, do you want to check out the pamphlets? They came out really nice!” She hands him the one she had been holding and he examines it.  
“Yeah, they really did! Something like this will definitely help people take the club more seriously.”  
“Yeah, I thought so too!” Shiro flips through the pages. Each member’s poem is neatly printed on each page, giving it a professional feel. Lance’s and Keith’s are the same at the ones from the practice. Hunk’s is different. It’s one that Shiro has never read before. Reading it, his stomach drops.

_Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of_  
_Get._  
_Out._  
_Of._  
_My._  
_Head._

  
_Get out of my head before I do what I know is best for you._  
_Get out of my head before I listen to everything she said to me._  
_Get out of my head before I show you how much I love you._  
_Get out of my head before I finish writing this poem._

  
_But a poem is never actually finished._  
_It just stops moving._

  
“Shiro? What’s wrong?” This poem feels completely different from everything else Hunk's written. Shiro shakes his head.  
“I-I changed my mind! I'm going to go get Hunk!” Pidge sighs.  
“Well, okay. Try not to take too long, okay?” Shiro quickly leaves the classroom. “Don’t strain yourself!” He quickens his pace.  
  
Shiro can’t believe himself. He should have tried a bit harder. It’s not that difficult to wait for him, or to help him wake up. Even walking him to school makes Hunk really happy. Besides, Shiro had told him yesterday that nothing would change. That’s all he needs.

 

* * *

  
  
When he reaches Hunk’s house, he knocks on the door. Shiro’s not really expecting an answer as he’s still not picking up with phone. Like yesterday, he opens the door and lets himself in.  
“Hunk?” He really is a heavy sleeper. Shiro swallows, slightly unsure of himself as he climbs the stairs.  
Outside of Hunk’s room, Shiro knocks on his door.  
“Hunk? Wake up.” He really didn’t want to enter his room. It’s kind of a breach of privacy. But Shiro has no other choice. Gently, Shiro opens the door.

The sight that greets him is more terrible than his worst nightmares.

He has to suppress the urge to throw up.  
“What the hell? What the _hell_?”

Hunk is just… hanging there, eyes closed.

Dead.

His hands are covered in blood.

He’s dead.

There’s no way this can be real, Hunk wouldn’t do this. Everything was normal up until a few days ago.

Just yesterday he told Hunk that he’d be there for him. That nothing would change. That everything would be okay.

How could he be so helpless? What did he do wrong?

Confessing to him.

That’s not what Hunk needed at all. He even said how painful it is for others to care about him.

Shiro falls to his knees, tears in his eyes.  
“Screw the literature club! Screw the festival!”

He’s crying.

His best friend is dead and there’s nothing he can do.

He’s gone forever now.

He only had one chance and he wasn’t careful enough. Now he’ll carry this guilt until he dies himself, he’s sure of it. He couldn’t do what Hunk needed from him.

And now he can never take it back.

Never.

Never.

Never.

Never.  
  
Never.

 

 

 

 

  
And then he wakes up in bed.

**Author's Note:**

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